


Intergalactic Pen Pals

by BeStillMySlashyHeart



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Communication, Developing Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-28
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-11-06 19:37:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17945855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeStillMySlashyHeart/pseuds/BeStillMySlashyHeart
Summary: Six months after Alex leaves for Basic without so much as a goodbye, Michael gets a text. What happens next leads to a decade of mixed communication between two emotionally stunted men.





	Intergalactic Pen Pals

1.

 

{Hi}

 

Michael sat up in his bed and double checked the name on the text - Alex. He blinked a couple of times and rubbed his eyes, sure that he was imagining things but no. It still said Alex.

 

Michael couldn’t believe it. Alex had left for Basic almost six months before, just left without a word. Michael had gotten the message loud and clear - whatever they may have had ended with his shattered hand. After that, Alex could barely look at him, let alone speak to him.

 

But this...this was something.

 

{ _Hi_ }

 

Michael stared at the phone, trying to will it into giving him another message from Alex.

 

{Do you have email?}

 

He stared at the phone. Was that really the first thing Alex had to say to him?

 

{ _Yes…_ }

 

{...what is it?}

 

Michael could almost see Alex rolling his eyes at him. He considered not responding because quite frankly he had no idea what Alex wanted but his curiosity won out. He quickly typed a reply.

 

{ _alienguerin47@hotmail.com_ }

 

He waited for a few minutes but nothing came back. When twenty minutes went by without a response from Alex, Michael wanted to throw his phone across the room. He stood up and started pacing, checking his phone every few seconds before it occurred to him that he really was a dumbass.

 

He hurried over to his desk and turned on his computer, cursing as it took its sweet old time booting up. When he finally got on, he quickly opened his email and there it was.

 

One new email from alexmanes@yahoo.com. He opened it.

 

_Basic’s a bitch. They’ve got some bullshit rules about no skipping. Can’t remember the last time I actually went to all of my classes every single day. It’s boring as hell._

  
  


_You probably don’t care about that. I know. I mean why would you? But I wanted to tell you. I miss talking to you._

  
  
  


_I miss you._

 

It wasn’t signed but there was no need. Michael stared at his screen in disbelief. He honestly never thought he’d hear from Alex again. Not with the way his father was acting in the wake of his departure. Like he’d finally won in his war with his son. Every time Michael saw him he wanted to throw him in front of the nearest car. His only consolation has been that Alex was finally far away from his dad. That even though Michael had lost him, Alex was safe.

 

But maybe he hadn’t lost him.

 

Michael hit reply and stared at a blank email for hours. There were so many things he wanted to say but he just couldn’t put them into words.

 

_Got a job working at the junkyard just outside of town. Turns out I’m pretty good at fixing things. I’m going to be the best mechanic in town in no time._

 

_Skip a class or a training or something. Be Alex Manes for fucks sake...who you trying to be? Your dad? You’ve never been a perfect student. No need to start now with something you hate._

  
  


_I miss you too._

 

Michael sent it without reading it. It wasn’t enough. But maybe it was a start.

 

2.

 

It was over a year before Michael got his next real email. He didn’t count the one he’d gotten back, the one that said _I don’t hate it_ and nothing else because that was bullshit and he and Alex both knew it.

 

The last year had been hard. He and Max were constantly fighting when they couldn’t avoid each other. Isobel flitted around like nothing had changed, like they were all still the same kids they’d been, and it was excruciating. Sometimes he thought about telling her the truth but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. It would just destroy her and there was no way he could cause her that kind of pain. He could carry the burden for her.

 

He’d sent Alex more emails than he’d like to admit. Just little things. Things he needed to get out but couldn’t say to anyone in Roswell.

 

He never got a reply. Eventually he stopped checking his inbox. Just logged on and sent his own off and logged back off. But apparently today was a special day. As he moved to open a new email, an incoming mail pinged.

 

It was from Alex.

 

There was no subject line but Michael didn’t care. He opened it.

 

_I’m being deployed. I ship out in 2 weeks. 8-10 months in Afghanistan._

 

Michael’s heart stopped. There was more but he couldn’t read it. Not yet. He had to remember how to breathe. Part of him knew that Alex would end up in a legitimate warzone but the much larger part had held out hope that he wouldn’t have to.

 

When he got himself under control he read the rest _._

 

_What happened to your full ride to UNM? You were supposed to get out of Roswell and do great things. How are you going to do that from a junkyard?_

 

_I’m sorry you and Max are fighting. I know how close you two are. I’m sure you guys will get passed it. You’re practically brothers after all. Trust me, I know all about fighting with your brothers - one day you’ll both just suddenly be over whatever it was and it will be like nothing ever happened. Don’t stress too much about it._

 

So he had been reading Michael’s emails. That was something. Michael had been half afraid that he was just writing to no one all this time.

  
There was more. A lot more. Alex seemed to be responding to a year’s worth of emails in one go. Michael skimmed over it, sure that he’d be rereading it again and again. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for until he found it, buried at the bottom.

 

_I’m scared._

 

_I’m so fucking scared._

 

Michael let out a quiet sob. He could only imagine how terrified Alex was for him to actually admit to it. Even in their final moments together, Alex never admitted how much his father scared him - he always had to put on a brave face. But not anymore. And Michael’s heart broke for him.

 

Michael couldn’t bring himself to reply. Not yet. He left the email and his computer running and he left. He needed space. He could feel his control loosening and being cooped up wasn’t helping.

 

Almost exactly two weeks later, Michael got another email. He still hadn’t replied to the first one.

 

_I’m leaving in the morning._

 

_I don’t know if you care. I hope you do. I really fucking hope you care. But I understand if you don’t._

 

_I needed you to know something before I go. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry for what happened. You deserve way better than what being with me got you._

 

Michael hit reply instantly.

 

_Don’t ever fucking apologize for that day. You were the very best parts of one of the worst days of my life and you are not responsible for any of the shit that happened after. Only the good things._

 

_You better come back alive asshole._

 

3.

 

Michael didn’t hear from him for 9 months. He’d never watched the news so obsessively in his life. He subscribed to all the Air Force emails and notices so that if something happened to Alex, he’d be able to find out. But there was nothing. No news was good news and all that but goddamn did he want to hear _something_. Just one email to show that Alex was ok.

 

It had been a bad day when he finally heard from him. He’d gotten in a screaming match with Isobel which led to a physical fight with Max and his boss, Billy, told him he might have to let him go soon. Not enough business to justify having Michael on the payroll or some shit like that. Suffice to say, Michael was not in a good mood.

 

When he got home at the end of the day, he checked his email first thing, as always. Nothing, as always. Next, he checked the news to see if there was anything on the military in Afghanistan. Still nothing. He grabbed a glass off of the counter and flung it against the far wall. It wasn’t far but it was enough to shatter it in a pleasing sound of tinkling shards.

 

A banging on the door caused him to jerk his head. If Billy wanted him to move his trailer right now, shit was going to hit the fan, literally.

 

“What?” He barked as he threw open the door, almost hitting the person knocking. He froze.

“Alex?”

 

Sure enough, Alex Manes stood in front of his tiny trailer, dressed head to toe in fatigues and a regulation haircut. He rubbed a hand across the back of his neck.

 

“Hey, Guerin.” Alex greeted him. Michael stared at him for a second longer before stepping down from the trailer and reeling him in for a hug. He squeezed him tight, unable to believe that Alex was really here. He was alive and safe and home. He hardly noticed that Alex squeezed him back just as tightly.

 

“When did you get back?” Michael asked, still holding onto him.

 

“Got back to the States a few days ago. I’ve got a few weeks leave before I have to report back so I thought I’d come home for a little while. Got back into town this afternoon.” Michael squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face in Alex’s neck. He breathed in the smell of him before loosening his hold and stepping back.

 

Or he would have if Alex hadn’t tightened his own hold. Michael smiled and reached up a hand to cradle Alex’s head as Alex leaned further into him.

 

“I really fucking missed you,” Alex breathed. If he hadn’t been right next to his ear, Michael wouldn’t have heard him.

 

“I really missed you too.” Michael told him. “Fuck, I was checking the news every night just to see if anything happened.” Michael shook his head at himself. He hadn’t had any intentions of admitting to that.

 

“I’m sorry. Internet was spotty at best and I had limited email opportunities.” Alex told him. “I should have said something, I know.”

 

“It’s okay.” Michael assured him. “You’re here.”

 

Eventually they pulled back far enough that they could rest their foreheads together. Michael ached to close the gap and taste those lips for the first time in over two years but he didn’t want to press his luck.

 

Alex eyed him for a moment before sliding a hand from his chin to the back of his neck and into his curls. Slowly, he started to pull Michael in but as soon as he made his first move, Michael surged towards him and captured his lips. He felt Alex reel back in surprise for a moment before responding eagerly.

 

Michael had no idea how long they stood there exchanging long, intense, thank-god-youre-alive-and-youre-here kisses but he never wanted it to end. If he could live in this moment forever, he would.

 

4.

 

If someone had told Michael that the best of his week or month would be a single email he would have told them they were crazy. And yet, it was true. Ever since Alex’s visit home, he’d been better about emailing. Nowadays they tried to send something at least once a week. It didn’t always happen but they were good about it.

 

Michael smiled when he saw he had a new email.

 

_Rodgers is an asshole. I swear to god I might have to break his face even if it would be a court martial. I don’t understand straight guys. They act like every woman should be falling over themselves to be with them and it’s a personal offence when they don’t. He finally asked Marshall out last week and she turned him down. Now he’s going around spreading bullshit lies about her as some sort of twisted revenge. I already told Marshall and reported him but my CO says there’s nothing he can do. It’s so fucked up._

 

Michael clenched his fist. Alex had been keeping him up to date on his squad and other colleagues. Just small anecdotes mostly but he really didn’t like this Rodgers guy. This wasn’t the first time Michael had gotten an email about him. But this one was the worst. Rodgers was a dick but he’d never gone after another Airman like this. Michael knew that must be killing Alex.

 

Alex may not have chosen the Air Force but he had embraced it and he truly believed that everyone should uphold certain standard like respecting their fellow airmen for one. But Rodgers was a higher rank than Alex and if his CO wouldn’t step in, there was nothing that Alex could really do. Short of straight up punching the guy. But that would get Alex arrested so Michael hoped he showed some restraint.

 

_Grant asked me out today. I almost laughed in her face. I felt really bad about it but it’s been so long since someone thought I was straight that I didn’t know how to react._

 

Michael had to laugh at that. It was true that most people in this town knew Alex was gay before he did. The idea of his colleagues thinking otherwise was genuinely amusing. And a bit sad - at least, the idea that the people he spent every day with didn’t know him well enough to know he was gay.

 

_I talked to Maria the other day. She said you’ve become a regular at the Pony. She wasn’t thrilled about your little scheme of starting a fight every night to avoid paying your tab._

 

_Why are you getting into so many fights Guerin? What happened with you?_

 

Michael eyed the last couple of lines. He didn’t like the idea of Alex talking about him with DeLuca. He thought about replying but what could he say? He had had a full ride to a great school but he couldn’t take it because his sister lost her mind and killed three people? He spent his days drinking because Alex’s dad had busted his hand to the point where he could no longer find solace in the guitar? No. Better to leave that bit alone.

 

Instead, all he sent was:

 

_As amusing as I find someone thinking you’re straight...be careful. Don’t make everything you’ve done so far worthless just because you couldn’t keep it in your pants. And do not punch Rodgers. He deserves it but it’s not worth losing your career over. Not to mention you’d have a record and let me tell you, that’s not fun either._

 

He thought about adding more but he’d lost the good mood Alex usually put him in. He sent it off as it was.

 

5.

 

_I’m being deployed - Iraq._

 

Michael’s heart stopped. That wasn’t any easier to hear a second time as it was the first. He’d foolishly hoped that Alex would only have to serve one tour. That his days of waiting and worrying were over but apparently not.

 

_I’m leaving in two days. Should be gone for 6 months this time. I’ll try to keep in touch._

 

Part of Michael knew he should be thankful to have gotten the heads up. He and Alex hadn’t exactly been great at communicating in the last year. After his visit, they were good for about six months before slowly their emails had gotten shorter and less frequent. This was the first time Michael had heard from him in three months. And it was to tell him that he was going back to war.

 

Michael leaned down and put his head in his hands. He sat there for a few minutes, running the idea through his head. Alex was going back to war and Michael was going to have to sit here in Roswell and hope and pray that he came home again. It had nearly driven him mad with worry the first time and they’d been more estranged then. He wasn’t sure how he’d manage this time.

 

He reached out and grabbed his phone and dialed Alex’s number. It was probably a bad idea - the one and only time they’d spoken on the phone there had been things said that neither one of them could take back. It was then that they decided email worked better for them. But then the emails stopped soon after.

 

“Guerin,” Alex answered on the first ring. His voice was soft.

 

“What the hell Alex?” He said. “You’re going back?”

 

“That’s the way it works.” Alex told him, his voice still soft. “I don’t exactly get a say.”

 

“They only gave you two days notice?”

 

There was a pause and Michael ran a hand over his face. Of course not. Alex had known for a while that he was being deployed. He just hadn’t told Michael until now.

 

“I wasn’t sure you would care.” Alex admitted.

 

“Of course I care asshole.” Michael spat back. “I know some things have been said but don’t be an idiot. You know I care.”

 

Alex hummed. “I know.” He agreed, his voice a whisper.

 

Michael leaned back in his seat. “Where are you?”

 

“My dad’s here.” Alex told him. Michael’s body went rigid.

 

“What the hell is he doing in Alabama?”

 

“He just got posted here.” Alex told him.

 

“What? Why? Why didn’t you tell me?”

 

“He’s in the Air Force and Maxwell is the largest base in the country, Guerin. There’s always a chance we end up posted to the same location. And I didn’t mention it because we haven’t exactly been talking lately.”

 

Michael groaned. “Alex, you are an idiot.”

 

“Don’t, Guerin.” Alex warned. Michael heard him moving on the other end of the phone. Suddenly, the background noise faded away. “My issues with my dad are _my_ issues. I appreciate your concern but I am not required to keep you updated on everything that happens in my life.”

 

Michael scoffed. “No, of course not. You don’t have to tell me a goddamn thing.”

 

He pulled the phone away from his ear to hang up because that’s how their conversations usually end when he heard Alex’s voice through the tiny speaker. “Don’t you dare hang up on me asshole.” He put the phone back. “Guerin?”

 

“Yeah, I’m here.”

 

“Good. Look, we-we have a strange relationship, if you can even call it that. And I really do love that you care about me enough to be upset on my behalf when I’m around my dad. But I do not owe you a play-by-play of my life. Just as you don’t owe me one of yours. We share what we want to share and it works for us.”

 

“When we actually do it.” Michael cut in. He didn’t say that it wasn’t really working for him anymore. He constantly wanted more.

 

Alex sighed and Michael could just picture him pinching the bridge of his nose. “Guerin, I am going to Iraq in two days. I really don’t have time to have another fight with you right now.”

 

Michael sat back heavily in his chair and stared at the ceiling. “I know. I’m sorry. I’m just-”

 

“Yeah, me too.”

 

“Don’t die over there, okay? Just- just come home. Please.” Michael said.

 

“I’ll try.”

 

“Not good enough Manes. Promise me.”

 

“I can’t Michael. The best I can do is promise to try to come home.” The _to you_ was silent but Michael heard it anyway.

 

Michael was about to reply when he heard someone yelling Alex’s name on the other end. It sounded a hell of a lot like his father.

 

“ _What do you think you’re doing out here?”_ He heard through the phone and yep, that was Jesse Manes’ voice. Michael clenched his fist at the sound.

 

“Making a phone call,” Alex replied, his voice tiny like he was holding the phone away from his mouth. “I’ll rejoin you in a minute.”

 

“ _This is not the time for personal calls._ ”

 

There was silence before Alex’s voice came through loud and clear, “I’ll be in touch.” And hung up.

 

Michael stared at the phone and could only pray to a god he didn’t believe in that that wasn’t the last time he heard Alex’s voice.

 

6.

 

“What the hell do they think they’re doing?”

“Does the President actually think this is a good idea?”

“Who wants a fag serving next to them?”

 

Alex let the voices roll over him as he stared at the TV. President Obama just repealed Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. He was safe. He didn’t have to hide anymore.

 

He breathed a sigh of relief. That was one of the worst parts of enlisting. He’d never had to hide who he was before, everyone seemed to know who he was before he did. But in the military, being gay was a crime. It had been an adjustment trying to live in the closet after never having done it before. There were a few guys who figured out the truth and supported him but for every one of them there were three of the other assholes like the ones standing next to him now. He thought about telling them off but before he could open his mouth, someone called his name from behind.

 

“Manes! You’re scheduled for computer time starting in 2!” Alex whirled around and hurried towards the communications tent. He’d been in Iraq for 5 weeks and hadn’t had a chance to check his email yet.

 

He quickly logged on. There was an email from Maria wishing him a safe deployment - based on the time stamp she’d sent it the day he left. He decided to reply to her later and instead focused on the 13 emails from Michael.

 

He smiled and shook his head. As he stared at the screen trying to decide if he wanted to read the most recent one first or the oldest, a new email pinged in the mailbox. It was from Michael and there was no subject line but he clicked it open.

 

There was no text, only a keysmash and a bunch of exclamation points above a screenshot of today’s headline. Alex couldn’t help himself, he had to smile.

 

Another email pinged and he quickly opened it and let out a startled laugh.

 

**_THE MILITARY IS STILL BULLSHIT BUT IT IS SLIGHTLY LESS BULLSHIT TODAY_ **

 

**_YAY FOR YOU AND FOR NO MORE HIDING!!!_ **

 

_Feel free to no longer keep it in your pants ;)_

 

Alex covered his smile with a hand. He clicked reply.

 

_Next time I’m home, you’re gonna have to help me with that last part_

 

He sent it off and then read through the rest of Michael’s emails. Mostly it was just random commentary on the goings on of Roswell. Alex couldn’t say he missed the place but it was comforting to hear about people he’d known his whole life. There was something about Michael’s anecdotes that always lightened his mood, no matter how shitty a day he’d had.

 

He didn’t reply to any of the other emails. There weren’t any stories from here that he wanted to share. He replied to Maria’s email and logged off.

 

If he had a little bounce in his step the rest of the day, well, he’d blame Obama.

 

7.

 

Alex parked the car and stepped out. He’d had to ask around to find out where Michael was living these days and he wasn’t expecting to have to drive out to Foster Ranch. It was later than he had hoped and he had less time than he’d like.

 

He’d barely made it two steps before the trailer door slammed open and Michael came barrelling out. Alex smiled at the sight of him.

 

Michael didn’t hesitate, he just ran straight to Alex and wrapped his arms around his waist, lifting him slightly off of the ground. Alex laughed and threw his arms around Michael’s neck, a hand burying itself in his curls.

 

“What are you doing here?” Michael asked when he set him back on his feet.

 

“I’m being relocated from Edwards.” Alex told him. “Heading out to Scott in Indiana and I thought I’d drive there, take some back routes. See the local haunts.” He teased. Michael reached an arm up and grasped his neck, pulling him in for a long kiss.

 

Alex only broke away when he needed to breathe but even then he didn’t go far. It had been too long since he’d actually gotten to see Michael. Not since his leave following his last deployment. But that was well over a year ago.

 

“How long are you here?” Michael asked breathlessly.

 

“Not long.” Alex told him regretfully. “I have to be back on the road tomorrow afternoon if I want to make it to Scott on time.”

 

“You planning to see anyone else while you’re here?” Michael asked even as he started walking backwards and tugging Alex along.

 

Alex went willingly as he shook his head. “I stopped by the Pony and had lunch with Maria so now I am all yours.”

 

“You saw DeLuca before me?” Alex kissed the pout off his face.

 

“Would you prefer I left you to go see her?” He asked.

 

“Never,” Michael whispered into his mouth as he pulled him back in. “I’m keeping you all to myself.”

 

8.

 

“Yo Manes! Congratulations, man!” Stonebridge slapped him on the back as he walked past. Alex looked over his shoulder at him but the man kept walking. He looked around but no one else in the room seemed to have a clue so he shrugged and turned back to the paperwork in front of him.

 

An hour later, Grant ran up and hugged him as she passed in the other direction. “Such an exciting day! I’m so happy for you.”

 

“What? Why?” He tried to ask but she ran off without answering.

 

As he headed towards his car at the end of the day, Sinclair yelled across the parking lot at him. “Congrats Manes! It’s a brand new day!”

 

Alex stopped and stared at him as he got in his car. He looked around himself, bewildered. Did he get a promotion no one told him about? He didn’t know of anything worth congratulating him on.

 

As he slid into his car, his phone rang. He groaned as he pulled it out. Nothing good ever came from a ringing phone. He almost dropped it when he saw Michael’s name on the caller ID.

 

He and Michael had only spoken on the phone twice and neither of them were great conversations.

 

“What’s wrong?” He said as he answered the call.

 

Michael laughed. “You haven’t seen the news?”

 

Alex furrowed his brow as he pulled his car door shut. “News?”

 

Michael laughed again. “The Supreme Court just outlawed the ban on gay marriage.”

 

Alex sat back in shock. That would explain everyone’s reaction today. It was open knowledge that Alex was gay. After DADT was repealed, he made exactly zero effort to hide it. And now…

 

“You there?” Michael asked.

 

“Yeah.” Alex answered, his voice still quiet with disbelief. “Are you serious?”

 

“Very.” Michael replied, the laughter gone from his voice. He understood what this moment meant to Alex, to both of them really. “You can get married Alex. To whoever the hell you want.”

 

Alex leaned his head back against the headrest and let the smile spread across his face. He’d long ago accepted that marriage wasn’t going to be a possibility for him. And yet, part of him had always liked the idea of it. Something that he’d only ever shared with Michael.

 

And now…

 

“Whoever the hell I want, huh?”

 

“Whoever the hell you want.” Michael agreed, his voice soft.

 

9.

 

He didn’t know how to do this.

 

Alex stared at his phone. In the last few weeks he’d gotten more than 100 texts and something like 40 phone calls from Michael, the messages getting increasingly frantic. Alex hadn’t checked his email yet but he was sure he’d find more of the same there.

 

He couldn’t blame him. He’d known how hard it was on Michael when Alex was deployed and news of a plane being shot down made it all the way back to the States. Combined with Alex’s radio silence had obviously led Michael to assume the worst. And yet he kept trying, Alex thought, as his phone rang again, Michael’s name popping up on the screen.

 

“You should answer that, honey.” The nurse next to him said. “It’s always better to have a support system around for your recovery.” Alex nodded at her but didn’t answer.

 

The voicemail icon popped up a minute after the ringing stopped. Alex couldn’t bring himself to listen to it.

 

Instead, he pulled up the email app and selected create new without looking at any of the messages in his inbox.

 

_I’m okay._

 

_I mean. I’m not. Not by any means but at least I’m not dead. I was in the plane and…_

 

_I don’t know how to do this Michael. My friends died and I lost my leg. I don’t know how to deal with any of this…_

 

He sent it and turned off his phone.

 

Alex pushed his head back into the pillow and ignored the tears that started to fall.

 

10.

 

Alex carefully lowered himself into the chair. He still had some trouble getting out of low seats but he was hoping he’d have some help with that when the time came.

 

He settled in and stretched out his leg, prepared to wait as long as necessary and thankful for the tarp canopy overhead keeping the sun off.

 

What felt like hours later, though honestly could have been minutes, Alex wasn’t exactly keeping track of time, he heard the sound of a truck tearing up the drive. He eyed it as it skidded to a stop and Michael shoved his way out, slamming the door behind him.

 

“This is private property! Fuck off!” He yelled as he stomped his way over. Alex saw the moment he recognized him. He stumbled to a stop halfway between Alex and the car and stared at him in shock. “Alex?”

 

“Hey,” Alex greeted softly. He tried to get up but his leg protested immediately - he was too low to the ground to be able to get up on his own. He reached out a hand. “Can you help me up?”

  
His words seemed to jolt Michael into action. He quickly closed the distance and grasped Alex’s arm and pulled him into a standing position. When Alex straightened he found himself standing almost chest to chest with Michael. The other man was staring at him almost in disbelief and no small amount of relief. Alex winced.

 

After a moment, Michael stepped back. Alex missed him immediately. “Guerin,” he said but Michael shook his head and took another step back.

 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have shut you out. I-”

 

“Shut me out?” Michael asked incredulously. “I spent weeks thinking you were dead. I called you and texted you and emailed you 10 times a day every fucking day because the Air Force wouldn’t tell me anything! And then I get one email from you saying you lost your fucking leg and then nothing. Nothing!” Michael yelled at him before stepping away and grabbing at his curls.

 

“I know.” Alex told him, keeping his voice soft. Yelling would not get them anywhere. “I woke up in a hospital in Maryland two weeks after the accident and they told me I was the only survivor and they’d had to amputate my leg. My dad was there and my brothers and it was just a lot. They gave me my phone after I’d been awake for a week and I saw your messages and I just- I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to deal with it all.” Alex could feel the tears welling up in his eyes but he ignored them. His gaze never wavered from Michael’s. “But I didn’t want you to think I was dead so I sent the email and then I turned my phone off.” He pulled it out of his pocket and waved it at Michael. “I only turned it on yesterday for the first time in eight months because I needed to ask Maria if you still lived out here.”

 

Michael stared at him but didn’t say anything.

 

“I’m being posted to Kirtland. Part of the Air Force’s attempt to make my recovery easier was to post me somewhere close to home so I’m moving back. I’m coming home.” Alex told him.

 

“How long?” Michael asked.

 

Alex shrugged. “Technically it’s a three year posting but I’ve only got four years left so...probably for good.”

 

Michael nodded at him and put his hands on his hips. “So...what? That’s it? You wanted to give me a heads up that I’ll see you around town?”

 

Alex shook his head and took a step towards him. “I’m officially still on medical leave for another month. My physical therapist officially signed off on my return to duty two days ago. Before then I couldn’t leave Maryland. As soon as the paperwork was finished I packed up my things and I flew back here.”

 

“Why?” Michael asked.

 

“Because I wanted to see you.” Alex told him. “I’ve missed you.”

 

Michael scoffed. “You’re the one who literally shut me out.”

 

Alex looked away before facing him again. “What did you want me to do Michael? I woke up in a hospital in a different country from the one I was in when I was attacked, missing part of my fucking body, and surrounded by my asshole of a father and my brothers. And I didn’t deal with it well! I know this and I am so fucking sorry but it’s done. I can’t change it. What I can change is how we move forward and I am trying to tell you that I want to move forward with you. The last eight months have been horrible. Rehabbing an amputation and learning to walk again with a prosthetic is a special brand of torture and every day all I could think about was how much I wanted you there with me but I couldn’t ask that of you because I’d been an idiot and an asshole and I didn’t know how to fix it from the other side of the country.” Alex stopped to take a breath. He hadn’t realized he was moving closer as he spoke but he was close enough now to reach out and touch Michael. “But I’m not on the other side of the country anymore. I’m here. And I’m going to be here for the foreseeable future. So we actually have a chance to work on this. For real, this time.” His voice was quiet as he finished.

 

“Just like that?” Michael asked.

 

Alex took a half step back and stumbled at the pressure on his leg. Michael’s arm shot out to steady him.

 

“I get it if you don’t want to. I do. I’m defective now and I wasn’t exactly the best before but-”

 

Michael cut him off with his lips. Alex didn’t even hesitate, he just sank into the kiss, into Michael’s arms as they wrapped around his waist.

 

“You are not defective.” Michael told him when he pulled away. “I don’t care if you have four limbs or none, I love you. But it hurt like hell that you were going through that and you didn’t want me there.” He made sure Alex was steady on his feet as he backed away.

 

Alex nodded. He had expected that. He had hoped for a passionate reunion but he didn’t live in a Hollywood romcom. He knew better than to expect good things.

 

He stepped back and nodded again. “Okay. I understand. I won’t bother you anymore.”

 

Michael rolled his eyes. “Some things never change.”

 

Alex raised an eyebrow.

 

“You’re still an absolute idiot.” Alex couldn’t help but flinch.

 

Michael closed the distance they’d created and cradled his face. “I love you Alex. I do not care if you came back from Iraq different than when you went there - all I care about is that you _came back_. And you’re here. Ten years later and you are finally home. For good. If you think I’m letting you go again then you’re a fucking moron.” He breathed the last words into Alex’s mouth as they came crashing together once again.

 


End file.
